refactor: (give em whiplash)
a dorito with a goatee ([personal profile] refactor) wrote in [personal profile] baptizer 2016-07-29 03:16 pm (UTC)

1/3...

[ As he'd started to explain the story, Jack had quickly decided for himself that her reaction didn't actually matter too much. It was probably just a way to protect himself, because these memories pull out something vulnerable, even for him who they don't truly belong to. So, why explain it? It's a question he's wondering even as he's speaking. He doesn't have to open up these wounds or feel that incredible heaviness again when he speaks of the deaths that he does feel grief over, because as he looks at Elizabeth's calm, if uncomfortable demeanor, he knows he won't change her mind. He probably knew that when he started explaining.

But he hates it. He hates when people look at him like he's a monster when they know about Angel, because he knows exactly what they're thinking. He's a father that doesn't love his daughter. He's doing something wrong to her, as if he had other choices. So that really is just it. He'll open those wounds again, because at least one person should know just how much he loves his daughter.

Of course, he's not capable of looking outside of his own perception here. He is doing something wrong. Many things wrong. But to his dying breath, he'll never understand it.

So when Elizabeth says there are "other ways," Jack's brow knits together, because he knows he hadn't explained it as well as he'd like. His explanation was supposed to provide that context and understanding to know that he had no other choice here-- But as has been the case in his adult life, things he'd never even imagined have a way of providing new doors. ]

Post a comment in response:

This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting