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week 13
[ It's after her conversation with Jason that Elizabeth... can't sleep. Like a gnawing bite at her flesh, it devours her. She feels herself slipping - she feels a weight on her that she's never felt. It.. hurts. All of this hurts.
For the first time in weeks, Elizabeth feels alone. This is somehow... just as bad as when she sat alone in the make-shift medbay after her revival. It's no secret that Elizabeth wishes she died and paid for her sins of killing Light and Hancock. She was coming to terms that it was a creature - not her - that inflicted this pain.
She was getting better. People didn't view her as a monster but -
now? That's a distant memory. Elizabeth feels trapped, she feels that she bares the responsibility of keeping Luke, Yuno and Jason alive. After arriving in the graveyard, she failed to help Rhys - she failed so badly and blames herself. When Jack arrived, she never forgave him - she allowed him to repent and hoped he could see his own salvation. Now with the two together... she's growing uncomfortable. There's a moral duty she takes on, but it's chipping away at her fragile state. She wears a smile like a sundress but her confidence has faulted after conversing with the survivors of the alien possession and the two Hyperions.
...She was alone, wasn't she? No one knew what she felt like, no one can relate to 1900s female oppression being trapped her entire life. She rambles on, putting her trust so blindly into her "friends" because... she has no one else.
And once again, she falls victim to that.
Luke gets a text message soon. ]
I don't want to be here anymore.
For the first time in weeks, Elizabeth feels alone. This is somehow... just as bad as when she sat alone in the make-shift medbay after her revival. It's no secret that Elizabeth wishes she died and paid for her sins of killing Light and Hancock. She was coming to terms that it was a creature - not her - that inflicted this pain.
She was getting better. People didn't view her as a monster but -
now? That's a distant memory. Elizabeth feels trapped, she feels that she bares the responsibility of keeping Luke, Yuno and Jason alive. After arriving in the graveyard, she failed to help Rhys - she failed so badly and blames herself. When Jack arrived, she never forgave him - she allowed him to repent and hoped he could see his own salvation. Now with the two together... she's growing uncomfortable. There's a moral duty she takes on, but it's chipping away at her fragile state. She wears a smile like a sundress but her confidence has faulted after conversing with the survivors of the alien possession and the two Hyperions.
...She was alone, wasn't she? No one knew what she felt like, no one can relate to 1900s female oppression being trapped her entire life. She rambles on, putting her trust so blindly into her "friends" because... she has no one else.
And once again, she falls victim to that.
Luke gets a text message soon. ]
I don't want to be here anymore.
no subject
But... Luke, he was trying to redeem himself, she thinks. Trying so desperately to work through his own issues and care for others. Elizabeth appreciate that and even in death, she gravitates to him. ]
I think you're doing a good job.
Being an optimist and trying to do better.
:)
I think your friends would be happy for you... I can't fathom the twists and weaves in your story - from epic retellings or other such, but... I like this Luke.
[ But, she has to get to the point. ]
No. I haven't told anyone. It happened not too long ago and... and I don't blame them. I know they were violated and hurt as much as me. They recall being a monster as me and... it just makes me wish that I could do more. Or go away,if that makes sense? It's the same after I was revived - how I hated seeing the bitterness in Clover's eyes and the fear in others. A freak, but I suppose I always have been.
...There's a lot that I do not know in this world, but I want everyone to return safe. My tower... that was the only time I was promised sanctuary...
SLAMS BACK HERE SO LATE :|
...but thank you. I just have to hope that maybe that's true. It's not like I can ask them, you know? Well maybe Annabeth if I really get to see her, but Annabeth's...complicated.
Elizabeth. [If this were in person, there'd be an exasperated sigh.] The thing about people is that fear is fed by other people's fear. I'm not saying that all you have to do is be kind and everything goes away. That's never true. People will always have an opinion but at the same time you have me and you have Jason and you have others that know better. Again, I know that's not enough but...I guess what I'm trying to say is that from one freak to another you eventually will find more people that'll accept everything. That's what the Pygmalion was for me. After this, there might be a place for you, too. That's why we gotta keep going.
As for your tower? Pretty sure that was the only time you were promised sanctuary because nobody ever gave you another route. It's just another way to control you. Ridiculous.